boot shaped chicken 2

   The mystery of the perfect mystery meat continues. Plenty of fast food restaurants offer insane deals on their nibbles, but to truly hit rock-bottom (prices) you need to head to Ikea, home of 8-for-a-dollar meatballs. Now, before you say "Hej Da!", hear us out: Ikea really is your best food choice! You get to eat exotic, fun cuisine for just a small, warm handful of dollars! Crazy cheap kid's meals! You can even buy the ingredients to make the food you just ate! Unlike what you buy for your pets Ikea meatballs have yet to be recalled. Imagine buying a knapsack full of meat patties from a McDonald's freezer section after you absorb one of their burgers.    Burger King appears to be emulating the success of their competitors and market leaders. Customized burgers and revamped product lines. But will they try putting a "premium on quality" like In-N-Out? Revisit their $9 rib specials that they themselves thought were ludicrous?    Maybe they can adopt Taco Bells' and McDonalds' strategy of hiding the food so that the customer doesn't know what they're eating. Taco Bell solders their burrito concoctions shut so that you can't see the the 12% special recipe. That big juicy whopper on commercials sure looks a lot better than its rivals but when you open your pile of lettuce you may think differently. The McFranchise expertly welds their concoctions into buns with cheese caulk, making it impossible to open up and analyze without destroying the whole thing. The secret ingredient is less a sauce or grill marks but about the consistency of preparation across all franchise locations. Nobody cares about customization if you're reminded that your food failed at the USDA academy.    Hidden Sandwich, Consistent Filling. That should be the mantra all ailing business adopt to stay afloat in these Fast Times at Foodmont High. That and a Barbecued Fire Grill Lingonberry Gimmick Sandwich promotion. Yum!