Portal week continues as we rejoice the arrival of Portal Kombat
! (patent pending). We've been chomping at the bit for this ever since Dater Kombat
at PAX. The original Mortal Kombat game was shocking but also fun and novel; the first Mortal Kombat movie still ranks as one of the best game-to-film adaptations around (not a huge accomplishment given its peers
, but still...).
Prior to today's Mortal Kombat reboot, however, for over a decade the only thing of interest was last year's viral Rebirth trailer
that was turned into the new Mortal Kombat Legacy
series. For years, hardcore fans of the game suffered through a "Mortal Drought-bat" (survey says: no Google matches on that one; we're golden!) of bland franchise regurgitations and that unspeakable sequel
(even box office kryptonite Christopher Lambert
was rumored to have lit a cigar with MK: Annihilation's burning script).The Mortal Kombat TV series? What TV series?
Not no more. Never is now.
Today we can teleport to a simpler time when Mortal Kombat was just "violent and controversial" and not steaming piles of iterative "violent and controversial"! It's time to rub that genie's lamp of bloodlust and lowered expectations people!!
The product description blurb on Amazon boasts that the game "...literally defined the mature game category" and goes on to tout its "mature presentation". It equates maturity with a game whose main focus is struggling to reenact all the Saw movies on your opponent's face at the end of each match. In the name of science & brevity (Sci-brev), here's the word cloud
from the write-up. It's nice how the word "mature" is in red, because red makes me think of blood, and nothing is more mature than blood.
Detractors say that Mortal Kombat is frighteningly graphic, pointless and lacks a balanced fighting system found in other popular fighters like Street Fighter and Tekken. Anyone who's played Anubis
from War Gods or any of the other truly terrible knock-offs
of the game will appreciate the quality of the original and hope that this new game can deliver.
So remember to "Get Over Here
!" tomorrow as we continue Portal Week and congratulate ourselves for not ending this blog post with something painful like "Finish Him!" At the very least dream of being able to shapeshift and having catch phrases that last decades (Shang Tsung